Life is a Song68856

I think, therefore I am. Ren Descartes (15961650)

Whatever the philosophical cogitations might be on this statement, it begins to make real sense to me in the light of the relationship between parents and children. The parent is the single greatest influence on a child, and the words a parent uses can wield an awesome power. Parents are shaping people, and that is a huge responsibility. In almost every case - whatever the parent says, goes.

If parents call their children names - idiot, clot, butterfingers, jackass - then they should expect their children to live up to the names they are given. If we call a daughter "Princess" - even as a term of endearment - or if we highlight her bossiness, "Bossyboots!", we could well be consigning her to a life of living up to the label. As an honest, though exasperated, young lad declares shrewdly in Liberated Parents, Liberated Children:

My friends and me call each other stupid all the time, and it's just a joke. But when your mother or your father calls you stupid - or your teacher - then you think it's true, because they ought to know.

When the parent says it, the child thinks it. When the child thinks it, they become it, ergo: I Think, Therefore I Am. Voila!*

It is up to parents to find ways to help children to think differently about themselves, and therefore to be different. We addressed various ways to do this in the article Labeling Is Disabling - How Parents Can Peel The Label Off Their Child. If parents have the power to shape the very existence of their children - their thoughts, and therefore who they are - then surely this is a responsibility parents should take very seriously.

Of course, none of this electrifying philosophical insight should detract from the greatest existential joke ever told:

Descartes goes into a caf and orders a cup of coffee.

The waitress comes by later and, seeing that his cup is empty, says, "Monsieur, a refill?"

Descartes replies, "Merci, I think not."

And promptly disappears.

*Whether Descartes exclaimed "Voila" after his famous philosophical declaration a still a matter of fierce philo-historical debate.

Rory Sullivan writes Hamelife, a website dedicated to helping parents negotiate the unpredictable waters of parent-child communication. With the 30 Ways at its heart, Hamelife encourages parents to avoid exasperating their children by embracing empathy, respect, and patience.